Holiday Conversations and Connections...

Like many of the very best things in life, the holiday season can be filled with paradoxes.  Two things – seemingly opposite – that exist at the same time.  Peace and chaos.  Reflection and reaction.  Giving and receiving.  Cherished time together and the mourning of loss.  

Time spent together with loved ones is not exempt from the potential for mixed (and at times even opposite) emotions.  It’s comforting to know that how we choose to interact with each other can be to everyone’s benefit.  At the risk of sounding cliché, we will tend to find what we look for.  

Simply expressing a sincere interest in each other by asking open questions can be a remarkable way to engage.  A few months ago, we had the pleasure of hosting a family gathering at our home, including our nephew, his bride and their young son. One morning, as she and I were up earlier than the others, she looked around our living room at the fish/ducks/critters mounted on the walls and said, “Tell me the stories behind each of them.”  

Two things happened in that moment:  First, I loved her.  Second, I recognized what a powerful thing she had done to create connection.  She asked me about something important to me and then just listened.  What a gift.  

How can you express curiosity with those you will encounter over the holidays?  No judgment.  Not a chance to be bothered by things that really don’t matter.  Time spent together can be one of the greatest things we get to do – and creating opportunities for deeper connection can be as simple as asking open questions and giving the other person a good listening-to.  

So as you gather with loved ones, what stories can you evoke?  Hearing them may be a blessing to you and the space you create by asking may strengthen the connection between yourself and the person who gets to tell it.